Me (to JHarris and Jonton): As a general rule of thumb, you are never going to get good news when you hear a British accent over an intercom and/or loudspeaker
JHarris: First thought: disease epidemic or an imminent bombing.
Me: Hahahahahahaha yes.
Jonton: LOL. What?
Me: Dude with a british accent came onto the bus driver's intercom. I couldn't quite make out what he was saying but it sounded ominous and foreboding.
Jonton: Dude that's funny. Speaking of ominous and foreboding, I just had one of the most intense/awesome dreams ever. My hear is still racing a bit.
Me: What was the dream?
Jonton: So, basically I was a civilian in a mall arcade and there were two terrorists programming the game so that when you died, poison would be released into the mall. And so I was suspicious, so I caught what they were doing and they started chasing me and I ran up the escalator to avoid them, and ran back down to security desk, and asked them to tell the police. The police came and shot one of the terrorists to death and then the other terrorist had been faking that he had been poisoned to escape but a police officer was on to him, and the terrorist shot the police officer and paramedic and....then I woke up.
Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
JHarris: The sheer sound of a British accent is enough to make you duck and cover your mouth.
Me: Haha. I couldnt even make out what he was saying (the guy on the intercom) but I immediately felt unsafe.
Me: What was worse was there was static. If you hear a British voice on intercom and there's static, you might as well call your next of kin and file for a durable power of attorney.
JHarris: Fuck that, grab a crossbow and what canned goods you can because the apocalypse is upon us. Potentially zombies.
Me: Question: during apocalypses, how are the people able to acquire crossbows so readily?
JHarris: It is written: given an apocalypse, crossbows will become readily available.
Me: Hahahahaha. There is a guy in a cave whose sole purpose is to make crossbows readily available.
Me: is it just me but I feel like you couldn't pay for a crossbow with actual money? You'd have to barter.
JHarris: There will be no more fiat currency
Me: Or solve a riddle which would allow you to get the crossbow as a prize.
Me: Hahahahahahaha
JHarris: Riddles are known currency.
Me: I'm just imagining some sort of blacksmith with the sign "riddles are accepted" over his store.
